Adapting My Favorite Hobby Helped Me Find Myself Again

Initially, it was easier to completely stop reading than attempt an accessible alternative. In time, I realized that accepting adjustments didn’t mean giving in to my rheumatoid arthritis.

I’ve always been an avid reader.

Even as a child, I loved to read. Now, well into adulthood, I still love self-help, science, history, biographies, mysteries, thrillers, and a good romance.

When I was diagnosed with rheumatoid arthritis (RA) over 10 years ago, I had no idea how much it would affect this hobby of mine.

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Reading became a constant reminder of my RA

My hand and wrist pain were so debilitating that I found myself unable to hold a book open to read for any period of time.

I tried different gadgets to clip books open or weigh pages down. But my hand and wrist pain was too much to even operate these tools.

I was so frustrated with the whole process that I gave up reading altogether. Trying — and failing — to read was a constant reminder of how my RA had affected me and my life. I thought giving it up would be better than being constantly reminded of this.

I soon found that my mental health suffered. There was a reason that I loved reading. It brought me so much joy and excitement, and sometimes even necessary escapism, which I was now longing for.

Why audiobooks and tablets weren’t my first choice

After about a year of living with RA, and not reading for pleasure at all, a friend recommended audiobooks. I know what you’re thinking — duh! It seems like such an easy switch, and in hindsight, I wonder why I didn’t try audiobooks earlier. I also wondered why I didn’t want to read on a tablet.

But in the early years of my diagnosis, I made a promise to myself that I didn’t want anything about my life to change.

Even a simple switch from books to audiobooks or tablets felt like RA was winning. It’s like the old saying about cutting off your nose to spite your face!

I’d never wanted to try audiobooks or tablets before my RA diagnosis, so I wasn’t about to let my RA change my preferences. I wanted to remain true to myself.

But, as I soon learned, keeping this promise was near impossible. Plus — ironically — choosing not to read was the biggest change of all! While using audiobooks or tablets might feel or look different, I would still be reading.

Accepting my new needs was not the same as giving up. It took me time to learn this, but it’s one of the most important lessons.

A year without reading was enough, and my mental health was worsening. I owed it to myself to at least try and find a solution.

Giving modifications a chance

Unrelated to my RA, I had to have some dental work done and I thought it would be the perfect time to test out my very first audiobook.

I remember my thought process vividly: “What have I got to lose?”

The first audiobook was free and I was literally stuck in a dental chair for 6 hours. “What else was I going to do?”

Almost as soon as I pressed play, I could feel my body and mind fill with imagination and joy. Within the first 10 minutes, I was totally hooked. I finished the entire book that day.

Needless to say, I don’t remember the details of the dental work. Instead, I remember the plot of a new story that made me feel energetic again. And I couldn’t wait to share my thoughts and opinions with my friends.

Being able to listen to an audiobook ignited a fire in me that had been dwindling. This modification opened up a whole host of possibilities for me to be me in new ways.

I was so excited that I tried reading on a tablet later that week. Unfortunately it didn’t work as well for me. Holding it was too much strain on my wrists and hands. I found myself focusing on my limitations rather than the story in front of me. I was longing to get back to my audiobooks.

Realizing that my modified hobby came with lots of new benefits

I found so many new positives to audiobooks. I could listen while doing chores such as laundry, cleaning, and even driving. I could engage in self-care while listening, opting to lie down or create a calming environment with candles. This has been so helpful when my symptoms are flaring.

I’ve also loved that some of the audiobooks are read by my favorite actors or exciting casts. It feels like I’m in a play production, which only enhances the whole reading experience.

Listening to audiobooks was such an effective and simple way to accommodate my new limitations in my hands and wrists and I was so thankful to be able to read (or listen) again. Within the first week, I felt my mental health improve and I felt the joy I used to get from reading books regularly.

Hobbies really can help you manage chronic illness, and maintain a sense of control that’s hard to find after a diagnosis.

They can even help ensure that your illness doesn’t consume your identity but allows you to find yourself in new ways.

The takeaway

From the loss of reading physical books to the discovery of audiobooks, I learned something so important: You really can do anything you want to do — it just might look differently than the way you did it before RA or the way others do it.

Finding adaptations and modifications really is the key to living your best life with RA. And it doesn’t mean that you’re losing yourself. It means that you’re finding yourself in new ways.

There are so many ways to do things in this world, and none of them are ever the only way or the right way.