My New Code of Conduct: How One Simple Read Transformed My Perspective

Your Bezzy RA guide, Ashley Boynes-Shuck, shares her love of reading and why one book in particular sparked a transformation.

My love of reading began when I was young. My grandfather would take me to the bookmobile each week so that I could stock up on books. By the time I was 15 years old, I got my first job at the public library. To this day, I still love reading.

A book that has changed me in recent years is “The Four Agreements” by Don Miguel Ruiz. This self-help book is a “code of conduct” for life and outlines four agreements that can lead to personal freedom and fulfillment. It’s a quick, easy read but packs a punch.

The four agreements are:

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1. Be impeccable with your word

Speak with integrity. Avoid gossip and use your words to spread positivity, kindness, and truth. I think this one could also read, “Be intentional with your words.”

We all know the power of words and how they can impact us, especially when people might say the wrong thing. Spread joy with the words you choose to speak.

2. Don’t take anything personally

Recognize that the actions and opinions of others are a reflection of them, not you. Strive to avoid taking things personally and maintain emotional resilience in doing so.

3. Don’t make assumptions

Avoid making assumptions or assuming the worst. Seek clarity in communication. Ask questions. Assumptions often lead to misunderstandings and unnecessary conflict.

4. Always do your best

Strive for excellence in all you do, but recognize that your “best” will vary from moment to moment and day to day — especially if you live with chronic illness or chronic pain.

Aim to avoid self-judgment or regret. If you only have 60% to give, and you give 60%, then today, you can feel good because you still gave 100%. Thinking in spoons might help you master this skill.

I revisit these 4 agreements again and again …

This book draws on ancient wisdom and philosophy to offer a practical guide for personal growth, gratitude, and transformation.

I find myself reflecting on the book and its agreements often. It encourages me to lead a life of authenticity, happiness, mindfulness, and fulfillment.